“To every season, turn turn…”
When we began searching for a house to purchase, I knew that I wanted a yard. A fenced in yard where my boys could run and play safely and where I could have shade trees and where I didn’t have to walk the dog on a leash and where I could grow flowers and have my own vegetable garden. When we found our house, the yard was the selling point. The house is great, and we love it but the yard is what convinced me. It’s huge and completely fenced and already had a planted strawberry patch, blackberries and raspberries. I was so excited to finally be able to landscape my own yard and plant my own real garden! Having grown up with a garden that my mom spent hours in and creating into a jungle masterpiece, I missed feeling so close to nature and feeling accomplished having grown something with my hands.
Unfortunately, my plans for the yard had to be postponed. We moved in in February and little Josh was born in April. He had a dairy allergy and screamed for six weeks straight (that’s another story for another time). When we finally figured it out, life got a little easier but I was already worn out and Spring had come and gone. Maybe next year.
Next year rolls around and in April, the boys and I go to spend four weeks in Tennessee with AJ’s mom, Rhonda who had just had ankle surgery. We had a great time and the boys had fun spending so much time with their Lolli and Pops and Aunt Stephie. When we got back in May, I was still dealing with Josh’s erratic sleep behavior and also caught up in my sewing project and so another year of no planting came and went. Now, during all of this, AJ took great care of the yard and we did get to enjoy the fruits of the previous tenant’s with the berries.
Finally, this year, it was time. Josh and Toby could play with each other (or watch a TV show) and be entertained while Mommy and Daddy worked outside (with frequent check-ins, of course). AJ and I took a long weekend once Spring set in and set to work on my garden. The previous tenants had kept chickens and had left a partially caged area on the side yard. That’s where my garden would be perfectly placed, in perfect sun and safe from birds and bunnies.
I will say, it was so awesome to be able to do a hands on project with AJ and just have some times to spend together, working together. There is just such a great feeling one gets from working with your hands out in the good ol’ dirt. It was hard work, dirty work and I used muscles I didn’t know I had. It was tiring and slow, but (and with many trips to Lowe’s) it finally was starting to come together and I loved it.
When the boys got bored, they came out and joined us and had fun chasing each other around the yard and getting dirty. It was a pretty rainy weekend so there was plenty of mud for the boys. It’s hard to believe that in only two short years, the boys have grown as much as they have. Toby was only four and Josh was so tiny. Now Toby is almost six years old and starting school in August (I don’t know how I’m going to handle that!) and Josh is a walking, talking, cuddling toddler whose favorite words are “bubba” and “snack”. My heart nearly explodes with love sometimes when I watch the two of them interact and love each other. I have been so blessed to be these boys’ mommy. With as much anxiety and stress that they put me through daily, I wouldn’t change a thing about them and I don’t know how I ever lived without them.
It’s hard to remember my time before being a mommy. In ways I miss it at times (what DID I do with all that free time??). I feel like I was just a little seed, planted comfortably in the warm soil, so content with my little bubble life and then suddenly there was growth and change and sunshine and storms and a new me.
I feel like the little seed, in the book It Will Be Okay by Lysa TerKeurst. I was so comfortable and scared of change but God knew best and had such an amazing plan for me. Now I feel like I’ve grown and changed into a seedling, or maybe more; maybe I’m becoming a tree now. Change happens daily in my life with these crazy cubs of mine and I feel I’ve weathered a few storms and gotten stronger. I’m so glad that I trusted my God when I was unsure and embraced (hesitantly at times) the change that took place.
My world today is so much bigger than I could have imagined. My heart more full of love than I thought possible.
I’m so glad I didn’t stay a seed. Seasons of our lives come and go and if we don’t allow ourselves to grow and change, we will never grow into the beautiful somethings we are meant to be.
To every season….